Tenfinity Rolls In (Season X pre-season rankings)

8. Brees Nutz- Maybe the roster is better than it looks up close from farther away....like a Monet. If a Monet were made completely out of slumpbuster and scotch.

Drew Brees remains the sunny patch in JB's winter garden. Larry Fitzgerald doesn't have to throw and catch the ball on his own anymore. Jamaal Charles is back....like Betty White, and Jason Witten is on the roster like a joint that's been passed around a circle more than 3 times. Percy Harvin may not suite up in 2013 and Ryan Matthews barely cracks a consensus top 30 RBs in the league. All that to say that JB's preseason lowliness is likely to mean that he wins it all in season X.

2012 Finish: 5-9, Lemon Bowl Winner
2013 Expectations: 6-7

7. Left Hand Shame- Noah's team is pretty good....for a girl. The good news is that he doesn't pick until the 3rd or 4th round, so he's gonna have to take fliers on young guys to see if he can climb the TCFL playoff mountain. Keeping two quarterbacks was an unconventional strategy. Letting go of DeMarco Murray will be either genius or retarded, with no room in between. He's got some talent in the receiving corp that he can build around moving forward in Dez Bryant, Wayne, and Gates. If MJD returns to form and a another RB can be found that is worth keeping, the next rung up the playoff ladder is not far away for Noah. The future isn't bleak here, it's just not in focus yet.

2012 Finish: 2-12, Lemon Bowl Champions
2013 Expectations: 5-9

6. Sexual Chocolate- Rings in season X with another gem-stealing off-season that may pay dividends in the Mason Conference, which is way, way, way down in keeper talent.

David Wilson and Randall Cobb were great moves to add to a list of upsiders like Spiller, Dalton, and Wallace. Andre Johnson heads up the constant all-star list on the team, but the roster has room to grow in to a juggernaut. If it struggles though, the fix for it will not be quick.

2012 Finish: 4-11, Jimmy Carter Bowl
2013 Expectations: 6-7

5. Salty Dawgs- Don't let this team fool you....it's a lot worse than it seems. RGIII and Doug Martin were added to Foxxy's drafting bona fides in 2012, which is why we think not keeping a second running back wasn't a big deal for the (now famous) Jimmy Carter Bowl champs.

If Gronk returns to form and he finds an RB2, Foxxy will be set up for a 5 year title run. If he doesn't, he may have to lean on Noah to avoid returning to the notorious "Rhymes with Punt" era.

2012 Finish: 10-5, Jimmy Carter Bowl Champions 
2013 Finish: 7-6

4. Quagmire Crackerjacks- The defending regular season Mason division champ returns with a team of consistent performers and a good shot at a quality running back in the first round in 2013.

Luck is the base of the team with Cruz and Nelson being potential fantasy keepers for the next 5 years. The running back corp is aging, but explosive. A few new finds should keep Bobby in the top half of the league for a few seasons.

2012 Finish: 8-7, Bourbon Bowl Champions
2013 Expectations: 7-6

3. Part Time Models- This is where the rarefied air starts in the TCFL. Tom Brady is a staple with a lethal tandem at receiver that is underrated. Uncle Tom, Marhsall, and White are enough to contend for a title by themselves. Add Richardson, Johnson, and a first round RB, they'll be in the title hunt come week 15 guaranteed.

2012 Finish:  10-5, Bourbon Bowl
2013 Expectations: 8-5

2. Lynchburg's Finest- The first ever three time champion is in good position to repeat just off keepers and division alone. Willie Cam Newton is coming into the all important third season, Calvin and Julio are elite, while Marshawn and Ray-Ray spearhead a consistent running game. Morris is the young man in the RB stable that may have find starting time through performance, as he did last year when starting over Rice during the Finest's championship run. A 4th straight Sugar Maple Barrel is expected in Lynchburg; and it'll be tough to unseat him in the division.

2012 Finish: 10-6, Mason Conference Champions, Super Bowl IX Champions
2013 Expectations: 9-4, Mason Conference Title

1. Rosterbaters- This is a runaway number one if there's ever been a team that has "Championship or Bust" written on it coming into the season. There's not a weakness on the current roster that will boast the number 1 TE and the top 2 runners and top receiver on the board according to Jordan's trusted drafting acumen.

If he wins less than 10 games in the regular season, he's underachieved. If he doesn't win the Super Bowl, he'll put his team in line with Lynchburg's one loss, titleless team of 2004. But it could be the best team ever assembled on fantasy paper with no player being any lower than top 5 at their position.

2012 Finish: Dixon Conference Champions, Super Bowl IX Loss
2013 Expectations: 11-2, Dixon Conference Title, Super Bowl Title

Season IX Final Standings

1. Lynchburg's Finest (100) 10-6-A monster hot streak vaulted the Finest to their third Super Bowl title in franchise history. Calvin Johnson's 42 points clinched the MVP.

2. Rosterbaters 11-4- Great performance, but couldn't close with Calvin and Marshawn carring the Finest. 

3. Quagmire Crackerjacks 8-7- Biggest post-season finish ever for Uncle Bobby B with the Bourbon Bowl title after a division championship in 2011.

4. Salty Dawgs 10-5- First 10 win season in the Foxwell era, but only the Jimmy Carter Bowl bust to show for it.

5. Part Time Models 10-6- Defended the championship with a ten win season, but really fizzled late, losing the Bourbon Bowl prestige in a low-scoring cap stone.

6 .Sexual Chocolate 4-11-Has some parts on which to build after the late-season push drained his team's 2011 MOJO.

7. Brees' Nutz 5-9-  Narrowly avoided the ingloriousness and renaming he so richly deserved in a Lemon Bowl win.

8. Left Hand Shame 2-12- I heard Testicle Tea is the 2012 name of choice for the Lemon Bowl Champ.

Super Bowl (week 16)

1. Rosterbaters (98) 11-3- Will play a familiar foe in Super Bowl IX in their 3rd epic dance for the crown.

2. Lynchburg's Finest (2) 9-6- Rooney took home his 6th Sugar Maple Barrel in 9 seasons. He's 2-3 in the big game....0-2 vs. Junior's Rosterbaters all-time.

3. Part Time Models 10-5-May have a Bourbon Bowl mis-match.

4. Salty Dawgs 9-5- Jimmy Carter Bowl bound in a rematch of the 2011 Bourbon Bowl.

5. Quagmire Crackerjacks 7-7- Couldn't stand up to the red hot Finest, but still in the most prestigious bowl game there is.

6 .Sexual Chocolate 4-10- Jimmy Carter vs. Foxxy.....becoming a post-season tradition.

7. Brees' Nutz 4-9-  Will he choke down the lemons, or pass to the only man left?

8. Left Hand Shame 2-11-Looking to get a new name or give JB the worst name in TCFL history.

Conference Championships (week 15)

1. Rosterbaters (100) 10-3- Geared up for the championship run

2. Part Time Models 10-4- Back in the Conference title game for the 3rd straight season, and 7th appearance in franchise history.

3. Salty Dawgs 9-5- Tough loss in the first round.

4. Quagmire Crackerjacks 7-6- The bye week can't hurt.

5. Lynchburg's Finest 8-6- Playoff record with 148 points. Heads up, TCFL!

6 .Sexual Chocolate 4-10- The winning streak comes to s screeching halt with a 92 point loss to the Finest.

7. Brees' Nutz 4-9-  Lemon Tussy.

8. Left Hand Shame 2-11- Can he be the worst ever?