SEASON XX (2023) Pre-Season Standings

1. Slytherin Football Club (55): Rich's team is locked and loaded again with exceptional depth across the board. He's looking to prove his split title should have been his alone. 

2. Gryffindor Football Club (45): Hair-- feathered and lethal. He's like Johnny Lawrence meets Johnny Ringo. Boasting 1.5 titles in his history, he's ready for another run.

3. A Team Has No Name: A shockingly deep and talented roster than now boasts some young talent at RB. This man has earned the league's respect and is poised to be a contender for years to come.

4. The Zack Attack: Be careful, this team has the capability of bending you over like Zack Morris hit Kelly from behind post-prom. He has top tier options at every major position. He's dangerous.

5. Vanquishing Legion: He's got talent everywhere. His starters are scary good and many of them are in contract years. Don't count this guy out at all. 

6. Legion of Roon: Hamstrung with injuries early, it's tough to overcome in a deep division. He has talent, but we'll see how well it turns out against a tough schedule. 

7. Complete and Utter Levitstation: Has some interesting starters with little depth, but is very dangerous. 

8. Quagmire Crackerkjacks: Had a good draft, but a lot of question marks at the starting positions. Injuries and upside permeate the roster in a deep division.

9. The Bast Abides: He has some forces of nature on his roster, but he's tentative to trade and the talent didn't translate to wins last year. Combined with a real dead squirrel on the doorstep of a draft, it could be bleak for The Bast in 2023. 

10. The Beeper King: Hello, Dummy. The roster is panning for gold in a shallow creek. Half the roster should be on the waiver wire, and it's looking ominous for everyone favorite straight guy who looks like a lesbian. 

Week 13 Rankings and Playoff Scenarios

 In a superfluously bad season for records and scoring, here is the lay of the land heading into the final week of the regular season, and it looks a lot like no mans land between the trenches of WWI.

1. Slytherin Football Club (40) 8-4: Rich controls his own destiny in locking up a Dixon Division Championship and a bye. If he beats The Bast this week after having had a potential Super Bowl preview victory of Noaer last week, he's in like Flynn. 

2. Vanquishing Legion (40) 8-4: The Dean of Tuesday & Co, the Chief of Staff himself, has had quite the season. He's the highest scoring team in the division, is tied in overall record, owns the tie breaker in headed-to-head over Rich, but had a strange start to the season which has him one game out in his division record of Rich. Travis needs a win and Rich to lose to claim the division.

3. My Diggs Small (10) 7-5: The highest scoring team in the league has been on skid row lately despite putting up some points. He's dropped 4 of the last 6 games, but if he manages to beat a very salty and dangerous Junior-led squad, he'll claim another division crown. 

4. Part Time Models (10) 7-5: "jUsT mAkE tHe pLaYoFfS." Well, he did already after coming up 1 point shy of his sixth straight win. He needs to beat Jeff's meat this week, and Noaer will have to take an L for AG to stand atop the division race. 

5. Sons of Apathy 7-5: Jordan has finally climbed back into the playoffs after a shocking and inexplicable three year absence. The last time he made the playoffs, he won his 4th TCFL Championship. He did so without the help of a division title as well. Is he setting up for part deux?

6. Quagmire Crackerjacks 6-6: Bobby B has won 4 of his last 5 games and has quietly snuck back into .500 territory with his record after the big comeback win last night over AG. Unfortunately, it's not enough for him to overcome losing 5 of his first 7 games with three very good teams already having clinched playoff spots. Bobby is just 2 seasons removed from a TCFL title, so he'll back in short order. 

7. Legion of Roon 5-7: This season has been one to leave out of the history books for Roon. He's dropped 4 of his last 5 games in poor to mediocre performances. It happens to coincide with Ja'Marr Chase's injury, which is unsurprising. The top-heavy division has teams 1-3 all claiming 3 of the top 4 point-scoring spots in the league. His situation is simple in the JMTP mantra, win and wrap it up. He can still lose and make the playoffs, but The Bast will have to take it in the teeth as well. 

8. The Bast Abides 5-7: Rice squares-off with the league's #1 team where he needs to win, and Roon to lose to limp into the playoffs. 

9. Dakless 4-8: He's dangerous. Very dangerous. He ends the season playing a contextually meaningless game insofar as playoffs, but he could end the year with 6 wins, a real feat for where he started the season and so momentum to carry into season 20. 

10. Flying Squirrel 3-9: The wins have been sparse, but shocking. He played spoiler very well all year.  Now begins the rebuild process. 

Week 12 Rankings

The more we go along in this season, the more we come to realize....no one is really good this year. It's the WB Network of fantasy seasons. This week we do the Thanksgiving Throwback names. 

1. Left Hand Shame (40) 7-4: I mean, I guess. 

2. Morning Wood (30) 7-4: Why not?

3. Sherman on The Mount (20) 7-4: It is what it is. 

4. Coalition of The Thrilling (10) 7-4: Eh....

5. Bushwood Gophers 6-5: Sometimes good, sometimes shit. 

6. Lynchburg's Finest 5-6: Not the worst, not the best. Just what we're stuck with. 

7. Sexual Citrus 5-6: Ok.

8. Mafia Hitmen 5-6: Hmmm.

9. A Team Has No Name 3-8: We can work with this. 

10. Doctor Jellyfingers 3-8: We'll always have Kansas City. 

Week 11 Rankings

1. My Diggs Small (100) 7-3: The TCFL's leading scorer isn't going anywhere. He's 2.5 games ahead of the next closest team in the division. Which means, Noaer would have to drop 2 of the next 3, and AG would need to win-out in order to catch him. 

2. Vanquishing Legion 6-4: Look at this guy. In a three way tie for the lead in the division. Just counting them duckets. 

3. Part Time Models 6-4: You made him angry, and you won't like him when he's angry. 

4. Slytherin Football Club 6-4: He's wilting like lettuce in the sun. Downey gets the bragging rights all through the holidays. 

5. Sons of Apathy 6-4: Jordan has caught the front of the pack, and it's anyone's pick on who will end up on top (that's what she said).

6. Legion of Roon 5-5: The second highest scorer in the league and defending champion has not had great success this season. His team has been in neutral for a couple of weeks, splitting them 1-1, but he'd be lucky just to make the playoffs. 

7. The Bast Abides 5-5: He started-off red hot, and now his inexperience is starting to show as the marathon has worn-on. We get it, just ask people for some help, man. 

8. Dakless 3-7: Wasn't kidding around when we said we see greatness on the horizon for this young team. Fields running for his life doesn't translate to the Bears for winning, but it makes him a stud until he eventually gets killed doing it. 

9. Quagmire Crackerjacks 4-6: We thought Bobby B would beat the doors down in the new division. He did not, and now sits 2.5 games out of the playoffs with 3 games to go. 

10. Flying Squirrel 2-8: He lost a game that was the TCFL version of the Auburn-Texas A&M game. Someone had to win, even though both deserved to lose. 

Week 10 Rankings

After week eight's explosion of points, comes the oddest week of them all which featured upsets and very low scoring affairs. 

1. My Diggs Small 6-3 (70): Tough beat in a tight game to shake up the division race a bit. 

2. Vanquishing Legion (20): Travis' squad just unhinged the entire league this week going for a league season high of 148 points in a big win over Richi's squad. 

3. Slytherin Football Club (10): "F&^* Rich!!!"- Will Johnson

4. Big Red Bastards 5-4: Lost a close high-scoring upset with the first signs of life for Downey's future champion squad. 

5. Sons of Apathy 5-4: Held off an upstart Proctor in the Sunday Night game, and is in line to make the playoffs. 

6. Part Time Models 5-4: The 9th overall scorer in the league in week 9 got a crucial win, and sweep over the 10th highest score in the league. "Just make the playoffs."

7. Legion of Roon 4-5: Went full Coach Boone on his team after the 63 point Monday Night debacle. "I will break my foot off in your..."

8. Quagmire Crackerjacks 4-5: Big upset over #1 MDS in a game that typified the scores of the week. 

9. Dakless 2-7: What a win. He's the guy to keep an eye on next seaosn. 

10. Flying Squirrel 2-7: A tougher beat than his weenie gets at the Austin Airport on a Wednesday night.

Week 9 Rankings

In one of the highest scoring weeks in TCFL History, the team that put up the 9th most for the week had 93 points, which is 11 points better than the Median scores any given week.  

1. My Diggs Small (100) 6-2: Pulls off the MNF comeback win to set him up for the division crown with some ease. 

2. Slytherin Football Club 6-2: Wins some ugly games, and finally pays the piper losing in a high scoring event. Depth chart, baby. Depth chart. 

3. Big Red Bast 5-3: He's just steady as it gets. 

4. Vanquishing Legion 5-3: Got himself truly Donkey-knocked this week, but is still on trajectory to coast into the playoffs.

5. Sons of Apathy 4-4: Starting to pique at the right time. Scored the highest of all the high scoring in week 9. Can he sustain?

6. Part Time Models 4-4: Not a lot of injuries on the team. Hopkins came out of his suspension pissed off about it. He's heating up. 

7. Legion of Roon 4-4: Injuries and byes at crucial times are about to take this team out of playoff territory. He squares off with AG next week in a game that will go a long way to deciding who makes it and who doesn't in a pretty stacked division. 

8. Quagmire Crackerjacks 3-5: Getting a win here puts Bobby mathematically back into playoff contention. 

9. Flying Squirrel 2-6: Took another shot right in the acorns this week. That may be enough to distance himself out of the playoffs with one more loss. 

10. Dakless 1-7: Took Noaer an actual effort to put him down. He's averaged 104 points the last two weeks. 

Week 8 Rankings (League Crasher Edition)

 1. My Diggs Small 5-2 (100): "Death you are my bitch lover!" It finally happened, but it took an injury and big bye to bring down the league's top scorer and odds-on favorite to win the season XIX title. Still in command of his division and his destiny. 

2. SFC 6-1: He won with 77 points on the damn board. In keeping with Rule #12 of Rules for Wedding Crashers, "When it stops being fun, break something." Spoiler Alert: It was Bobby's heart. 

Rich is still finding ways to win. 

3. Vanquishing Legion 5-2: You know how you quietly go 5-2? 

Rule #89-- "Have a big fuzzy beard and drink your bourbon." Travis shores-up both copiously. Like Iceman said to Mav, "....you're unsafe. I don't like you because you're dangerous."

4. Legion of Roon 4-3: "No excuses. Play like a champion."- Rule #76. Mission accomplished. The seven-time and defending champ finally pecker-slapped someone in a way befitting the roster.

Good talk, guys. 

5. Big Red Bastards 4-3: "If you get outed, leave. Do not run."- Rule #24. The Bast abided, and took another close loss in a low-scoring game. He'll be fine. 

6. Part Time Models 3-4: He won the hard way, by breaking rule #38, "Girls in hats tend to be proper and rarely give it up." It was the "rarely" that put AG over the top with a 71 point showing that garnered win number three on the season.

7. Sons of Apathy 3-4: Feels like he's sitting on a powder keg. Injuries, trades, and points on the bench will eventually lead Junior getting his shot. He's biding his time by employing rule #68, "Dance with the bride's grandmother." Always keeps you in the running. 

8. Quagmire Crackerjacks 2-5: "A drunk crasher is a sloppy crasher." Breaking rule #37 has consequences, Bobby. Under 50 points again is like Cam circa 2014. Time to go to rehab, man. 

9. Flying Squirrel 2-5: Proctor's team has been through a lot this year......

Yeah......a lot of dick. 

10. Dakless 1-6: Our special boy is the king of Rule #29: "Always be a team player. Everyone needs a little help every now and again." He's been a team player all year by letting teams gets win after win over his young squad. This week he finally ran a train on Junior's bunch in a preview of what we can expect in the years to come when the talent matures.