1. Part Time Models (100) 1-0: AG is mad, and now some of you people are gonna know about it. Week 1 featured a s***-kicking of Biblical proportions, as AG's team out-distanced the rest of the league by a ways.
2. Slytherin Football Club 1-0: He won. It wasn't pretty. Perhaps he inherited the voodoo curse that was on Jordan's team these few years with talent not producing....but he won.
3. My Diggs Small 1-0: In a nod to the Avette Brothers' "people don't know nothing", Noaer said "I have a blowpop for ya" in a 127-53 dump dropped right on KD's face.
4. Vanquishing Legion 1-0: Sneaky good. Be careful when you ignore Travis....that's right when you get a letter from the IRS on Friday and face-beating on Sunday.
5. Big Red Bastards 1-0: He won....now what does he do? Just keeping doing it, baby. Like a Harding marriage, just keep it going no matter what.
6. Sons of Apathy 0-1: Took the L, but as the name says....he don't care.
7. Legion of Roon 0-1: The defending champ, did a full heel turn this week in a profanity-laced tirade that still linger over the Cumberland River, and basically let everyone know that he wasn't gonna take a beating like that lying down. Except when he did, and got his ace kicked.
8. Quagmire Crackerjacks 0-1: Welcome to the Dixson Conference, Bobby B. Now swallow.
9. Flying Squirrel 0-1: Uh oh....he's taking matters into his own hands. And we don't mean a Bukkake Festival.
10. Dakless 0-1: No one wants to beat up on our special boy...except everyone that plays him. Proctor did an odds-on bet for him to seize the Lemon Bowl title this year after game 1.
