1. My Diggs Small (95) 5-1: Going from the one getting crapped on, to being the one taking the Diggs on other people, Noaer's started a season as strong as any in the 10-team era. Could be one for the ages- or deflate faster than Cam's ego on a third date.
2. Slytherin Football Club (5) 5-1: Richi is also 5-1, but it's a different kind of "5-1"....you know what I'm saying? Like when his Tinder profile used to say he's "5'10, 28 years old"....only if you round up and it were a decade ago that would be correct.
3. Vanquishing Legion 4-2: The eldest Gable is quietly shutting up the competition, just like he did when he was growing up. By being the stronger, wiser one.....of Alan and Jared. Which is what being 4-2 in the Dixon Conference is like this season.
4. Big Red Bastardos 4-2: Just like every other facet of his life, he's just getting it done. Are we surprised? Yes. Should we be? No.
5. Legion of Roon 3-3: Being the second highest scoring team in the league is kinda like being the second oldest Gable; profoundly average in looks, but with A LOT of potential. His mother is very proud of him though.
6. Sons of Apathy 3-3: You had one job this week, man. One job. Don't worry though, his team has all but secured a playoff spot already because, as I mentioned earlier (whispers) "that conference has some confidence issues."
7. Part Time Models 2-4: Everyone is wondering if they should tell AG's team that the season continued after week 1, but no one really wants to poke that bear. In a year that looked to be AG's to lose, he's now facing some early season disappointment. Just like that one time Mama Gable told JB that he was her favorite twin. Devastating. Happy birthday though!
8. Flying Squirrel 2-4: That's right, AG and Proctor have the same record through six games-- so he just won that lotteryesque odds $2.5 mill prop bet he made in June. You beautiful genius, you.
9. Quagmire Crackerjacks 2-4: We're all looking at Bobby's team like his third grade teacher did asking, "what the hell wrong with you?" Fewer points than Proctor's squad and a roster that can't decide if it's past its' prime or not.
10. Dakless 0-6: Like the youngest brother who is suddenly bigger than his brothers, this team's young talent is gonna put it together all of the sudden one week, and then we're all gonna be in trouble. The most patient man any of us know is applying his wisdom to the TCFL, and then we'll all be playing catch up.....but it'll be at least next year. This year he has a date with the Lemon Bowl circled on the calendar.
